helloe peopel....

hello....so...i have just been posting a lot of pictures...that is what i have been doing lately.
 i haven't felt like i have had anything to say for a while...so...
 when i have nothing to say...

i went for a long walk today...went for a couple of walks...walking keeps me sane...i am very happ that i can walk

mr, fourth of july...

i am in a pretty good mood about my life...and it is really hard for me to be...i really know how to sabotage myself....i am really good at that...really good at making messes that i can't clean up...and i always hope that someday...and i always say..."well, someday..." but...
   fuck someday....some day is a lie you tell your self to help you sleep at night...tomorrow is a promise you make to yourself to try and stave off the nightmares...the endless nothing....the little cricket in the back of your little brain telling you...
   "you are nothing...you are nothing motherfucker...and you will never amount to anything...and you are worthless...and undeserving of love or affection...and you don't deserve your smiles...."
    that little cricket....we will smash him...and he will smash us...and apparently this just goes on forever...
 samsara...the never ending cycle...
   because ths is what we want....and this is what we deserve...
   neat....fucking neat-o.